Looking Back

So i'm starting this at about 12:43 in the morning, haha! I can't help it, I've been thinking a lot lately and blogging tends to help.

Well tonight ended pretty early, it was really good to see Taylor and Justin again. They're adorable- enough said. It was kind of a bummer though to pay $6 just to sit in the thunder and lightening and then get rained out. I was really looking forward to seeing a bunch of people. I could have probably made a list of easily 20 names. My motivation for the blog came from when I got home (it was only like 9'oclock) I had plentyyyy of time to lay down and think. No freshman will really understand the phrase "high school changes you" until they're not a freshman. Looking back a year ago- i'm proud of who i've become, but it also makes me want to cry. I've really, really grown up. I've lost friends and made new ones. I wish I had focused more on my grades and taken things a bit more serious. I wish that when people thought of me they didn't think of the girl that knew everyone they thought of the girl with a tight knit group of friends. NOT saying knowing a ton of people is a bad thing... I am SO thankful for everyone of my friends; volleyball, softball, school, guys, camden, older, younger. They're great. I'm taking a new approach to all the things that went wrong last year, from guys to classes. I'm learning from them and moving on. I want these to be the best years of my life, I'm only 15... I'm aloud to be stupid every now and then. We ALL know I'm not perfect. I know that was all a bunch of random junk, but that's how I think. It just kind of comes out. I could go into so much detail, but I'm going to sit here and trash people. I've kind of been wanting to make amends with some people, but in some ways I feel like I should just forgive and forget. Anywaaaays- all I do is ramble... So i'll leave you with this.

"You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, instead."
-Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love

"Eat. Pray. Love."

Every trailer I see for that movie makes me so jealous. One day i'm going to travel the world; Italy, Spain, and Australia... that's just the start of my list.

School start next week and I really don't know how to feel about that. Of course I'm sad that Summer is over, but in a way I'm ready to take on another year of school. Because another year of school means I'm just one more step closer to GRADUATION! I really want to buckle down this year, make good grades, not text in class, and keep my cat naps to a minimum, Yeah- we'll see how that goes...

One thing I'm really tired of is never feeling good enough. I think everyone goes through this, but I deserve to be happy.. We all do! So why can't we?

I feel like I have so much to talk about, but I hate pointless long blogs.. So i'll leave it at this.

"It's funny how one summer can change everything. It must be something about the heat and the smell of chlorine, fresh cut grass and honeysuckle, asphalt sizzling after late-day thunderstorms, the steam rising while everything drips around it. Something about long, lazy days and whirring air conditioners and bright plastic flip flops from the drugstore thwacking down the street. Something about fall being so close, another year, another Christmas, another beginning. So much in one summer, stirring up like the storms that crest at the end of each day, blowing out all the heat and dirt to leave everything gasping and cool. Everyone can reach back to one summer and lay a finger to it, finding that exact point when everything changed" –That Summer