"And I don't mind saying a part of me left with you."

Well, another weekend gone. I'm in tears right now, again. I hate when my boyfriend leaves. Why can't he just stay or take me with him?! I sound like such a little girl right now... But having him beside me just makes everything better. The second he leaves is the second another countdown begins. I miss him already. I'll add to this post later. Work until 7, then British Lit stuff...

She needs a new journal. The one she has is problematic. To get to the present,
she needs to page through the past & when she does, she remembers things
& her new journal entries become, for the most part, reactions to the days
she regrets, wants to correct, rewrite.

"We are not the same person this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy change if we, changing, continue to love a changed person."

Oh hey, :)
It's been a while... I went not blogging for a few days because it would've all been the same. School is crazy, I miss my boyfriend and college friends. Blah, Blahhhh. Well, that turned into a few weeks, whoops!
School is going surprisingly well! I didn't think I was going to get into online English at first and then I wouldn't have gotten a British Literature credit.. But I did! Yay! That class started Tuesday and ends December 12th, which isn't bad. Pre-Cal with Mr. Corey just completes my life, he's SO funny. If you go through Lugoff-Elgin High School without taking a class through him, you my friend, are surely missing out. I didn't think I'd like going to the old middle school for classes at first, but I actually enjoy it. It's pretty relaxed over there and it's nice to get away from the high school. Art II is pretty much just what I expected- hard, and nerdy. But I love the way Riches teaches, so I just do what I'm suppose to. I'll post some pictures of projects later on. Yearbook is just as stressful as I thought it would be. There's A LOT of new staffers, and I reallllllly hope I'm doing my part. Streamline got an All-Southern rating from SIPA, yaaaay! I can't wait to see what all other awards we get. No pressure Kaleidoscope 2012! We'll get through it, I hope! Volleyball on the other hand, maybe not. It's just not what it use to be. Granted, I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm just not the player I wish I was. Yeah, it sucks, but whatever. All I know is I really miss my boyfriend and I cried like a baby Sunday night when he went back to USC. I didn't expect to get so upset, but after spending the weekend with him, I realized just how much I missed him. I'm SO lucky to have him, and not some dramatic boy from Lugoff-Elgin. I just can't put in to words how good he is to me. Haha, okay enough of that. I think I'm done for now, I know that's not a lot. But it's 11PM and I feel guilty for being up since I have a tri-match with Camden and Lexington tomorrow.

Life sucks in a good way: falling in love, falling in hate, getting hurt, and getting laid; what's one without the other? But when it comes to the ritual of growing up, sometimes you smile because you're happy, and othertimes you smile just because you survived. Yet in the end, a smile is a smile. - Happy Campers

"i'd rather be anywhere, but here without you."

dilemma- Okay I'm trying so hard to redo my room and still pay it respect to the rest of house considering I only have two years left here. I want to find a way to incorporate Modern simplicity, with Art, Charleston, and TOMS. Crazy, huh? I think I've found the perfect shade of coastal white to paint my walls, now I just need to find a modernistic looking bed spread that will go with my Charleston art and hopefully matching decor. Time to box up the old softball trophies and bright turquoise bed spread for an upgrade to the type of person I actually am today. ...I need help.

That's really all I wanted to blog about, but I have other things on my mind. Like time. Where the hell did it go?! I mean really. I turn 17 soon, and God forbid, I know I'm not giving birth or anything. But I seriously remember how excited I was to go to middle school, high school, and now I'm focused on college. Woah. And another thing, Tim moves to Cola TOMORROW. I haven't cried yet, but I'm tearing up right now. This Summer with him has gone by so fast and I'm really nervous for him. I know he'll do fine, he's super smart. He has a good roommate. He's a good kid, but I'm just worried. As always. I know we'll be okay, and I'll see him every chance I get. I guess it doesn't help he was exhausted and fell asleep on me. Every time he falls asleep before me I start thinking of all these crazy scenarios. 

I started putting together my book-bag tonight. Starting school is so bittersweet. I think I got pretty lucky with my classes. I STILL have to take my Central test or no English 101-102 for me. 

Oh my gosh, it's 1AM, I have to start getting into a sleep routine. Anyways...

QOTD

But the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise... And happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time. -Gary Alle

Song I've listened to a million times today...

"Behind every beautiful thing there is some kind of pain."

no honest attempt to look normal, at all. awesome.

&, my somewhat sad actual attempt to look human.

Okay, so I was being just a tad dramatic there... But anyways, I'm not sure when the last time I blogged was. Probably a few days ago. I get bored too often. I honestly like how no one thinks it's really cool to blog anymore, and so I can be honest about everything, and in the off chance someone extremely judgmental is reading this... whoops. Not a whole lot has happened this last week of Summer. I've had 4 volleyball practices in the past two days, finaaaaally started getting in the tanning bed, and I got to see my sweet boyfriend. I'm ready to get all my volleyball stuff! Warmups, T-shirts, Under-armor stuff, etc! I'm also ready to get tan, I hate being so pasty pale, yuck! Last night Tim and I stopped by the softball field and he got to meet Carvel AKA- my second daddy and graduate of The Citadel. hahahah, poor baby. He moves Thursday morning and I'm dreading it. I can't even pretend to be happy about it. His parents are super sweet though and I know he'll be coming back when he can. That reminds me, I have to work tomorrow night, Friday, and Saturday. Oh wait, I can't work Friday... I need to make sure I get that fixed. haha. Our coach is making us devote three entire days to team bonding. If every day wasn't a trip to a different country it'd be okay, but our varsity team already has a strong bond and there's no point in going to Camden, Lexington, and West Cola all weekend. Guess I'll try to make the best of it! I'm suuuuper stoked for the Jamboree Friday though! I can't wait to watch this 'state championship defense' I've been hearing all about and then getting to watch bff- Hunter and all the Camden friends play after that. And since the Camden Jamboree marks the new football season it also marks the first party of the school year. Which I probably won't be in attendence of because of volleyball. ugh... Oh well, Mom's home and she's already being annoying. 

QOTD-

This is the Hail Mary Pass. There’s no time left. But you know what? Sometimes the Hail Mary Passes work, and they’re amazing when they do. Everyone cheers and people win. Look, it’s a long shot; I recognize that. But it might just work, and I HAVE to believe that it might work. So please… Let me believe that. -Parenthood

Plug in those headphones...

"Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another. Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation. Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once in a while, and don't be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments. Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be You. Go now, and live."

-Jeanette LeBlanc

"She finally stopped looking, she knew he was her everything."

It's crazy how:

So much seems to change in one week. Having two practices everyday this week sure made things seem to drag on, I barely had time for anything else. I got to work on Yearbook stuff two day this week, well kind of. The second day we were there Mrs. Proctor decided to buy paint, she has two new rooms and every room got a brand new AC. They put it where old white boards where, so of course the paint was nasty looking after the finished. We decided on making a magnetic wall and doing the rest of the wall a dark blue. Little did we know that SAME day Sherwin Williams sent over painters to paint over the nasty paint to its' original base blue. ..So embarrassed. But we got to keep the magnetic part, and that's what matters! 

Volleyball was madness. We went outside to run and condition twice. Only in South Carolina would it be 95 degrees at 10AM. Other than that, it's actually been alright. I'm so ready for varsity games to start up. I had a really bad day today, but I also had my reasons. We also got our jerseys, guess who's representin' her number another year, "8?" Oh yeaaaah! 

Work was madness x's about 100. All I have to say is... Tax. Free. Weekend. Ughhhhhh, I have to work it tomorrow night. I have no clue what to expect...

It takes a God sent type of person to be able to pull me through crazy weeks like this one. I think if you read through my old blogs when I'm dating someone I basically pour out about how great and amazing they are. Welllll, those were all lies. Those boys were all lying, jock-jerks who caused unwanted drama. It's my amaaaazing boyfriend who deserves all the credit for putting up with my craziness and absolutely making my Summer SO much better than the last two. 

QOTD!

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap. -Cynthia Hiemel

This song was playing when I first started blogging, so give it a go!

So long, farewell...

"Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight"

hahaha, That is definitely from one of my favorite movies of all time, "The Sound of Music." 

It's appropriate though, because today was my last real day of Summer. Booooo. Tomorrow starts the mark of volleyball season and all fall sports in general. I'm probably more excited for football then I am my own season. I mean I can't wait, it's just all the Juniors know what's coming and it's crap. (So blunt.) Anyways, I'll be putting in 20 hours to volleyball, 12 to work, at least 2 days to Yearbook, hopefully a night or two of athletic training for football camp, andddd I really need to make time to see my boy. Oh- and get my schedule straightened out tomorrow, how awesome. Okay, enough of that...

Summer was great though, for once no one really knew what I was up to, I never made things that public, didn't spend hours on Facebook statuses knowing my every location. I just had a summer for me. I got to see a lot of family, catch up with old friends, and meet my amazing bestfriend/boyfriend. Summer didn't revolve around softball tournaments or baseball practices. I got to watch my brother play all-stars and watched Emma-Claire prepare all Summer for Kindergarden. She has the same teacher that John and I had, how crazy is that?! She's more ready then I am. Watching her grow up over the past 4 years has changed me drastically. There's so many things I feel I'm not ready for, but I know I have to face. IE- Volleyball season, boyfriend moving, school starting, yearbook staff, baby sister starting kindergarden AND turning five. I have so much on my mind, and I can feel all the levels of whelm just building and I can tell I'll be shedding tears more than ever. My goal for this year is to put aside my emotions, and just fight through stress. Something I've never been good at, but it's all preparation for just something else I'm sure. 

Music of choice tonight; Coldplay- Poppyfields

QOTD

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr