"And I don't mind saying a part of me left with you."

Well, another weekend gone. I'm in tears right now, again. I hate when my boyfriend leaves. Why can't he just stay or take me with him?! I sound like such a little girl right now... But having him beside me just makes everything better. The second he leaves is the second another countdown begins. I miss him already. I'll add to this post later. Work until 7, then British Lit stuff...

She needs a new journal. The one she has is problematic. To get to the present,
she needs to page through the past & when she does, she remembers things
& her new journal entries become, for the most part, reactions to the days
she regrets, wants to correct, rewrite.

"We are not the same person this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy change if we, changing, continue to love a changed person."

Oh hey, :)
It's been a while... I went not blogging for a few days because it would've all been the same. School is crazy, I miss my boyfriend and college friends. Blah, Blahhhh. Well, that turned into a few weeks, whoops!
School is going surprisingly well! I didn't think I was going to get into online English at first and then I wouldn't have gotten a British Literature credit.. But I did! Yay! That class started Tuesday and ends December 12th, which isn't bad. Pre-Cal with Mr. Corey just completes my life, he's SO funny. If you go through Lugoff-Elgin High School without taking a class through him, you my friend, are surely missing out. I didn't think I'd like going to the old middle school for classes at first, but I actually enjoy it. It's pretty relaxed over there and it's nice to get away from the high school. Art II is pretty much just what I expected- hard, and nerdy. But I love the way Riches teaches, so I just do what I'm suppose to. I'll post some pictures of projects later on. Yearbook is just as stressful as I thought it would be. There's A LOT of new staffers, and I reallllllly hope I'm doing my part. Streamline got an All-Southern rating from SIPA, yaaaay! I can't wait to see what all other awards we get. No pressure Kaleidoscope 2012! We'll get through it, I hope! Volleyball on the other hand, maybe not. It's just not what it use to be. Granted, I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm just not the player I wish I was. Yeah, it sucks, but whatever. All I know is I really miss my boyfriend and I cried like a baby Sunday night when he went back to USC. I didn't expect to get so upset, but after spending the weekend with him, I realized just how much I missed him. I'm SO lucky to have him, and not some dramatic boy from Lugoff-Elgin. I just can't put in to words how good he is to me. Haha, okay enough of that. I think I'm done for now, I know that's not a lot. But it's 11PM and I feel guilty for being up since I have a tri-match with Camden and Lexington tomorrow.

Life sucks in a good way: falling in love, falling in hate, getting hurt, and getting laid; what's one without the other? But when it comes to the ritual of growing up, sometimes you smile because you're happy, and othertimes you smile just because you survived. Yet in the end, a smile is a smile. - Happy Campers

"i'd rather be anywhere, but here without you."

dilemma- Okay I'm trying so hard to redo my room and still pay it respect to the rest of house considering I only have two years left here. I want to find a way to incorporate Modern simplicity, with Art, Charleston, and TOMS. Crazy, huh? I think I've found the perfect shade of coastal white to paint my walls, now I just need to find a modernistic looking bed spread that will go with my Charleston art and hopefully matching decor. Time to box up the old softball trophies and bright turquoise bed spread for an upgrade to the type of person I actually am today. ...I need help.

That's really all I wanted to blog about, but I have other things on my mind. Like time. Where the hell did it go?! I mean really. I turn 17 soon, and God forbid, I know I'm not giving birth or anything. But I seriously remember how excited I was to go to middle school, high school, and now I'm focused on college. Woah. And another thing, Tim moves to Cola TOMORROW. I haven't cried yet, but I'm tearing up right now. This Summer with him has gone by so fast and I'm really nervous for him. I know he'll do fine, he's super smart. He has a good roommate. He's a good kid, but I'm just worried. As always. I know we'll be okay, and I'll see him every chance I get. I guess it doesn't help he was exhausted and fell asleep on me. Every time he falls asleep before me I start thinking of all these crazy scenarios. 

I started putting together my book-bag tonight. Starting school is so bittersweet. I think I got pretty lucky with my classes. I STILL have to take my Central test or no English 101-102 for me. 

Oh my gosh, it's 1AM, I have to start getting into a sleep routine. Anyways...

QOTD

But the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise... And happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time. -Gary Alle

Song I've listened to a million times today...

"Behind every beautiful thing there is some kind of pain."

no honest attempt to look normal, at all. awesome.

&, my somewhat sad actual attempt to look human.

Okay, so I was being just a tad dramatic there... But anyways, I'm not sure when the last time I blogged was. Probably a few days ago. I get bored too often. I honestly like how no one thinks it's really cool to blog anymore, and so I can be honest about everything, and in the off chance someone extremely judgmental is reading this... whoops. Not a whole lot has happened this last week of Summer. I've had 4 volleyball practices in the past two days, finaaaaally started getting in the tanning bed, and I got to see my sweet boyfriend. I'm ready to get all my volleyball stuff! Warmups, T-shirts, Under-armor stuff, etc! I'm also ready to get tan, I hate being so pasty pale, yuck! Last night Tim and I stopped by the softball field and he got to meet Carvel AKA- my second daddy and graduate of The Citadel. hahahah, poor baby. He moves Thursday morning and I'm dreading it. I can't even pretend to be happy about it. His parents are super sweet though and I know he'll be coming back when he can. That reminds me, I have to work tomorrow night, Friday, and Saturday. Oh wait, I can't work Friday... I need to make sure I get that fixed. haha. Our coach is making us devote three entire days to team bonding. If every day wasn't a trip to a different country it'd be okay, but our varsity team already has a strong bond and there's no point in going to Camden, Lexington, and West Cola all weekend. Guess I'll try to make the best of it! I'm suuuuper stoked for the Jamboree Friday though! I can't wait to watch this 'state championship defense' I've been hearing all about and then getting to watch bff- Hunter and all the Camden friends play after that. And since the Camden Jamboree marks the new football season it also marks the first party of the school year. Which I probably won't be in attendence of because of volleyball. ugh... Oh well, Mom's home and she's already being annoying. 

QOTD-

This is the Hail Mary Pass. There’s no time left. But you know what? Sometimes the Hail Mary Passes work, and they’re amazing when they do. Everyone cheers and people win. Look, it’s a long shot; I recognize that. But it might just work, and I HAVE to believe that it might work. So please… Let me believe that. -Parenthood

Plug in those headphones...

"Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another. Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation. Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once in a while, and don't be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments. Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be You. Go now, and live."

-Jeanette LeBlanc

"She finally stopped looking, she knew he was her everything."

It's crazy how:

So much seems to change in one week. Having two practices everyday this week sure made things seem to drag on, I barely had time for anything else. I got to work on Yearbook stuff two day this week, well kind of. The second day we were there Mrs. Proctor decided to buy paint, she has two new rooms and every room got a brand new AC. They put it where old white boards where, so of course the paint was nasty looking after the finished. We decided on making a magnetic wall and doing the rest of the wall a dark blue. Little did we know that SAME day Sherwin Williams sent over painters to paint over the nasty paint to its' original base blue. ..So embarrassed. But we got to keep the magnetic part, and that's what matters! 

Volleyball was madness. We went outside to run and condition twice. Only in South Carolina would it be 95 degrees at 10AM. Other than that, it's actually been alright. I'm so ready for varsity games to start up. I had a really bad day today, but I also had my reasons. We also got our jerseys, guess who's representin' her number another year, "8?" Oh yeaaaah! 

Work was madness x's about 100. All I have to say is... Tax. Free. Weekend. Ughhhhhh, I have to work it tomorrow night. I have no clue what to expect...

It takes a God sent type of person to be able to pull me through crazy weeks like this one. I think if you read through my old blogs when I'm dating someone I basically pour out about how great and amazing they are. Welllll, those were all lies. Those boys were all lying, jock-jerks who caused unwanted drama. It's my amaaaazing boyfriend who deserves all the credit for putting up with my craziness and absolutely making my Summer SO much better than the last two. 

QOTD!

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap. -Cynthia Hiemel

This song was playing when I first started blogging, so give it a go!

So long, farewell...

"Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight"

hahaha, That is definitely from one of my favorite movies of all time, "The Sound of Music." 

It's appropriate though, because today was my last real day of Summer. Booooo. Tomorrow starts the mark of volleyball season and all fall sports in general. I'm probably more excited for football then I am my own season. I mean I can't wait, it's just all the Juniors know what's coming and it's crap. (So blunt.) Anyways, I'll be putting in 20 hours to volleyball, 12 to work, at least 2 days to Yearbook, hopefully a night or two of athletic training for football camp, andddd I really need to make time to see my boy. Oh- and get my schedule straightened out tomorrow, how awesome. Okay, enough of that...

Summer was great though, for once no one really knew what I was up to, I never made things that public, didn't spend hours on Facebook statuses knowing my every location. I just had a summer for me. I got to see a lot of family, catch up with old friends, and meet my amazing bestfriend/boyfriend. Summer didn't revolve around softball tournaments or baseball practices. I got to watch my brother play all-stars and watched Emma-Claire prepare all Summer for Kindergarden. She has the same teacher that John and I had, how crazy is that?! She's more ready then I am. Watching her grow up over the past 4 years has changed me drastically. There's so many things I feel I'm not ready for, but I know I have to face. IE- Volleyball season, boyfriend moving, school starting, yearbook staff, baby sister starting kindergarden AND turning five. I have so much on my mind, and I can feel all the levels of whelm just building and I can tell I'll be shedding tears more than ever. My goal for this year is to put aside my emotions, and just fight through stress. Something I've never been good at, but it's all preparation for just something else I'm sure. 

Music of choice tonight; Coldplay- Poppyfields

QOTD

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr

"This is the star, this is your heart."

I'm starting to get back into the habit of blogging again. I guess I should start writing for a purpose. 

So today's purpose.... 

art.

At one point I really found a passion for it. I say 'it' because I was never sure what I found a passion for exactly. I can't draw people, I can't use chalk, I'm so rigid with oil based paints, my shading was never right, etcetera. Give me an oil based medium and a photograph of the ocean though, and I'll surprise myself. I can really say all this credit goes to my Art teacher, Mr. Riches. He's by far one of the hardest teachers at the school and isn't exactly amongst the most liked. But he's taught me so much, and on a much broader spectrum then just art. I was really looking forward to taking a graphics class at ATEC (applied technology education campus) this year, but after a scheduling mistake I'll probably have to take a few optional classes instead. Art II was my immediate go-to class. I can't wait to see what I can do this semester. My first goal for the semester is to recreate some photos from Charleston to put up in my room. And yes- I'm finally getting around to redoing my room. It needs it, bad. I wanted to do a black, white, and red room, but that'd be kind of hard living with a 4-year-old. So I'm doing what I can, haha.

Anyways,

There's one person whose style of art is absolutely brilliant in my mind. He's not alive today, but his story is amazing. He's a photojournalist who visited third world countries and really did everything he could imagine. His work deserves to be checked out, and thankfully TOMS did a good job of getting his story out there. Here's his website, http://www.daneldon.org/site/ 

And after hearing how my blog is getting seen by new people I hope they can take the time to check out that link. 

-QOTD

You spend so much time wondering who you are, don't you think? You flounder about, searching for your identity, when most of the time it is as plain as the nose on your face. You struggle with questions of purpose and need, and forget that the answers are found mostly inside yourselves.

Hallelujah, I'm caving in

Hallelujah, I'm in love again

Hallelujah, I'm a wretched man

Hallelujah, every breath is a second chance, yeah

"Hope is a driving factor in helping us stay on course in life, it may feel as though it comes and goes, but in reality there is always hope, there is always a chance for something else to happen, and you need to have faith that it will."

July 27, 2011

First off- Sorry Kayley Miles, I picked up the mac with your Pandora logged in and so I've been using up your hours for the past like 6 hours. wubbb yew! <3

Well, I got my schedule for Junior year today. I was super pissed at first because they gave me ATEC in the morning of first semester, that's not happening... I'll probably get that switched to student aide for p-roc and art 2. No big deal. Then- I found out I have Miss Abee AGAIN for second semester fourth block, English 4. I can't take another year with that woman. That class is SO slack. Instead I'm going to take the placement test at Central and I'll take English 101 and 102 at CCTC. Yeah, that's right, that'll put me 3 years ahead on my English classes. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it's alright. I have Mr. Corey for Pre-Cal and Mrs. Holly Sullivan for Chemistry. I'm SO excited to know I have good teachers! Then there's US History, with.... Coach Knoerr. I might die. He scares me sooo much. Ever since I was helping a wrestling tournament in like fifth grade and I went somewhere to get food and I heard him get mad and go, "Where are those gurrrrls?!" Yeah, I'm terrified. I hear his class is easy though, so I'll make the best out of it. My main goal for the school year is raise my GPA and class rank. We have a ton of kids in my class so it's super competitive, but I really want to be a Junior Marshall. I got one of our brand new Macs from the J-lab today and I'm trying to master it before school starts, how embarrassing would it be to not know how to do something after a staffer asks?! I really think everyone is going to love, love, LOVE all our ideas for the year. I hope it goes as smooth as possible. 

ANYWAYS-

I was standing in the living room tonight and out of nowhere my Daddy looks at me and goes, "Colleen, you're a beautiful girl. No, I really mean it. You're beautiful." It's the little things like that make me realize I have 3 absolutely amazing boys in my life. God, of course. My Daddy. My fabulous boyfriend. I wouldn't trade them for anything...

I might come add more to this later, but I really want to finish this spread and my room is a wreck with Journalism stuff thrown everywhere. Oh well.

QOTD-

When you look in her eyes and she's looking back in yours .. everything feels .. not quite normal. Because you feel stronger & weaker at the same time. You feel excited & at the same time, terrified. The truth is .. you don't know what you feel except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable & you weren't ready for it. -Spiderman  

"It was just an innocent smile, but it lit up my world."

So, this is pretty much my last week of Summer. I don't have a lot planned, I guess I'm really just already anticipating a stressful school year. This Summer was so much different then the last few... No boy drama, no softball, no beach. But as always, I'm thankful for all the time I got to spend with my family and boyfriend and the occasional friend time. I really need to make a 'yearbook' group and get around to getting things for school ready. I'm still sweating volleyball tryouts and sweating USC's move-in day even more.

And OH- on a random note, I watched a friend go to USC last year as a freshman and basically turn over his life and now because we're on different pages still can't bother to shoot me a text or let me know when he's in town. ..real awesome. you've proved yourself. sorry i had to move on.

QOTD-

You closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too -- even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling. -Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

July 21, 2011

so. much. on. my. mind.

After going crazy with volleyball all week, dead week has finallyyyy started! AKA- best idea South Carolina High School Sports Association could ever have! I got my schedule for August and it's CRAZY. Starting the 1st, I have straight two-a-days until the Wednesday we start for school. This also means no beach trip for me unless we sneak in something at the end of next week. All next week is going to consist of is probably Yearbook and Athletic Training stuff. I can't believe I register for school NEXT Tuesday, that's madness. I mean, my summer is pretty much over. ...Ridiculous! I can fully say that this summer was better than last though. One thing I'm so nervous (besides tryouts, I'm freaking out about those) about is August 13th. It's Carolina's moving day, AKA- the day my boyfriend goes out on his own. (Again, no freaking out.) But still, We're talking about it right now actually and this is year number two I've had to watch a boyfriend leave for college. I guess we'll see what happens! Like I said at the beginning, I have a lot on my mind, and absolutely no way too put it all down in an orderly way.

&, I realllllly need to finish my summer reading...

If he had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence. That's all anything ever is. Nothing more than coincidence. -500 Days of Summer

(I really love that movie.)

July 19, 2011

Hey bloggers/stalkers/friends/randomlyboredpeople,

So I got back from Furman/PC camp yesterday! Of course I'm exhausted and sore, but that's part of the experience. We OWNED the skit contest, and Battledome. It got so nasty and competitive, but that was all expected. Aiken, was the most sleezy, cheap, snobby team I've ever seen. Which so explains how they're defending state champions. We placed third in the actual tournament, I was overall pretty proud with the 3 Lugoff teams. If I could take my team 1 and say "that was it, there's the varsity team, the end." I'd be ecstatic... But I can't. I won't be playing libero, and we'll have more than 8 people on the team. Oh well, no further comment.

I spent all day catching up on sleep and going through my closet. 13 hours of sleep and 3 trash bags later, I'm finished! yay! We're starting to plan some yearbook stuff, and I can see how overwhelming it's about to get. I can't believe I register for school next week, and that people start moving in to Carolina in less then a month. :( Boooo, bye-bye summer, time to start growing up again. Hopefully that can start with learning how to play the guitar, which is my latest obsession. This blog has shown NO journalistic writing whatsoever and is all over the place, but that's okay, it's my blog. :)

In everyone's past there is a love they can't get over and a summer where it all began.

Funny, how I was quote searching and found this above. If you know me at all, or if you read any of my old blogs from the last two summers, you know just who this is about. Kind of weird too, I've been thinking a lot about that person lately. Mostly the what-if questions... Looking back I feel way to young, but then again, sometime's you just know. SO, here's my actual qotd!

It is easy to forget how perfectly life works out. When you are down, you believe that things never work in your favor. But if you look back, you see that, in many cases, things happened exactly the way they needed to.

July 14, 2011

Last night I came to the conclusion a lot is going to change in the next month that I'm extremely nervous for. Guess it's really time to put my faith in God's hands and watch him bring me through.. I'm leaving in a few minutes to go to Furman. We're so well prepared this year. I can't waaaait to see the looks on all the 'stank' upper-state volleyball teams' faces. Maybe I'll blog while I'm there? No, probably not. ...I REALLY wish I could see Harry Potter, oh well, guess I'll be lame and go when I get back...

I guess I'm learning, little by little, that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us, but it is our reactions that matter. -Felicity

Obsessive blogging.

Okay, so this is post number two for the day. I'm not trying to be weird, it's just that I'm not on the phone like I would normally be. (pause, text message. Yay!) Well, my brother's team beat Mcbee 9-3. I didn't get to go to any games last summer so it was good to see him play. The third base umpire's name was John Wall, how awesome!? But anyways, I haven't really counted my blessings in a while so maybe I'll just do that!

I'm thankful for:
My parents, they really are incredible people. Even though we have completely different views and opinions I really do try to take in life lessons.
My little sister, she'll be turning five in almost a month and I really can't believe it. I feel more like a parent figure to her and I really feel like she's grown up before my eyes. Not saying I plan on being a teen mom any time soon, but I truly believe no baby is a mistake and that no matter what the circumstance all children should be loved before they grow up all too quick. (that obvi. went off subject)
My little brother, he mans the house and plays with Emma while I'm being the mean boss of the house. Thanks bro!
My co-workers, haha, they keep me sane and I couldn't imagine spending hours listening to annoying customers with anyone else.
My boyfriend, yes I said boyfriend. Everyone please freak out a little more for me... I swore off guys for the summer and pretty much relationships of any type. You kind of changed all that though, it's fun not to have to worry about labels, and not to have to worry about other peoples' opinions just yet. Whether it's hours on Skype or 10 minutes in person you're fun to be around.
My Gamecocks, hahah, of course I'm mentioning this. I've been in love with Carolina way before it was "cool" to be a fan. You're making a name for yourself. CWS back-to-back, so nice. I can't wait to see what we can do 53 days from now against ECU. "battle."
And of course I'm thankful for my yearbook staff and volleyball team, but that hasn't officially started yet.

I think I got my fair share of people in? Well anyways, I'm also thankful for anyone who has read this. Blogging isn't the cool thing to do anymore, but it helps me release so much crap I think about on a daily basis. It also lets me show off my journalistic voice a little too, and yeah, I just said crap like a sentence and a half ago... Oh well. :)
So, with all this said, I am finally starting to get text messages from all my favorites, yay! Goodnight everyone, :)

July 11, 2011

hahahaha, first off. I posted this hours ago, but my computer clock is messed up, it's July 11th, not 7th.

I definitely fell off the Blogger bandwagon, and I really wish I would've kept up with it. I got on Tumblr, but of course that only lasted a couple of months too. I can now say I'm a Twitter addict too, I use to think it was sooo lame and nerdy, but I'm pretty much a nerd so I had to give it a go. Anyways, I'll do a quick catch up on my life since my last post....

I passed through another year of high school, woot-woot! I NEVER though Honors Biology would end, ugh. I do miss getting to see my old art teacher, Riches all the time! I've been working at Rue 21, since March. It's been really great. Yeah, the hours aren't the best, and we have some really weird customers, but I love the people I work with. It's kind of sad though because people are starting to leave to get ready for college... Hopefully I can keep up with most everyone though. One of these people in-particular. haha, :) Club Volleyball was a blessing to end, but then soon after spring volleyball started. We have a new

coach, one I've actually known for years. Our assi. varsity coach is actually my old club coach too, hahahahah. Surprised? I was too. We get along just fine now, and I really think we'll have a good season. We leave for Furman this Thursday at 8AM, that should be interesting. The Yearbook came out AMAZING, and I think the student body really loved it. Next years is going to be even more amazing though because I'm the De

sign Editor, along with three other main editors- Megan, Annie-Katie, and Kayley! We got a good look at the staff when we went to CJI the second week of June. Yeah, Junior year is the most stressful in highschool, but I think I can handle it. As if I'm not doing enough, I've decided to become an Athletic Trainer too. I'm either training Basketball and Wrestling or Baseball and Softball. My parents are still holding out that I'll play next year, but I think after school volleyball ends I'm either going to play or coach at the Camden Volleyball Club and then AT in the spring. Junior year also means getting my academics up and start looking into scholarships. As much as I love volleyball, I don't think it's in my plan to play in college. I'm still wanting to go to USC to major in Visual Communications and possibly minor is Art. I came into high school wanting to major in Sports Nutrition though, while that's always in the back of my head, I'm just way to stuck on Journalism and Art. I'm a die-hard Gamecock, but I'm not ruling out other colleges like The College of Charleston or Johnson

and Wales. Speaking of being a die-hard Gamecock fan, big ups to by Carolina Baseball team winning the National Championship BACK-TO-BACK! HUGE up to Freshmen Forrest Koumas who graduated for Lugoff last year!

I'm off to go get ready for my brother's first all-star game. He has a love for baseball that I know will long outlast mine did for softball. The least I can do is go watch him play.

I'll leave you with a quote like I always use to,

There are moments of such pure, sublime, unparalleled perfection that they will force you to close your eyes and hold on to them as best you can. Life is

a series of these moments. Everything else is just waiting for them. -Iain Thomas

Find A Way- Safety Suit

My hair is now 8 inches shorter and not as red, but yeah. I love my allie-boo. :)

"this is a head on collision"

I haven't posted on Blogger since January 8th. I switched over to Tumblr and fell in love with it! But here we go....!

SO much has changed for me in 2011, the past month, the past week.. It's crazy, change is the only thing anyone ever talks about now, but it's constantly happening. I'm happy though, really happy. Since January 8th I've been through mess after mess.

• Drama with the same person, until that person crossed the line- drastically. Then it got ugly. Then it passed. Then in almost the same breath I was back in action (weird way to put it.) That went really well, but crashed and burned... Bummer.
• My grades turned out to be decent, I've been getting out and staying busy which is good too.
• Volleyball ends next Sunday, THANK GOD. It's been a truly, miserable season. But I have stayed in shape and stuck it out.
• I also got a job, another big bonus to life! :) You can find me at Rue 21. I know it'll get old, but I am soooo glad not to have to depend on mum's and daddy's money anymore.
• My Daddy is also talking about cars like crazy right now, which is superb because if mum gets herself a new car, we are going to sell her old one and then this girl gets a car! score!
• I'm also taking care of myself even more then ever, just when I think I can't become any more of a self-conscious eater... I do. It's probably not good for me, but I've lost some weight and if I'm stuck being 5'3, I betttttter be skinny to go along with it. I've also received my skin pigment back! yay! I was really orange Monday and today though. ..Just a teeny bit embarrassing, but that's okay!
• Spring break cannot get here fast enough! This time a week from now, I'll be packing for Charlotte and then playing in Regionals until Sunday afternoon. Then the rest of that week will consist of tanning and working. My only goals for SB 11 are to go to the zoo, get darker, go shopping, and MAYBE Charleston for a day! :)
• Tonight is the Jersey Shore finale, how sad. :(
• On my laaaaast note- my blog title changed from 'Beautiful Disaster' to 'Mi Amore Vole Fe Yah.' No, I'm not taking French, that would be way too easy... I stuck with Spanish. The title comes from Lady Gaga's song 'Born this Way.' It means love needs faith. I could not agree more! I've continued to pay more attention to faith, it's gone along way. Everyone tells me I look so sad during the day, well- I'm normally not in the best mood, but I'll smile at anyone, listen to anyone, and just because I'm not talking to every person I pass doesn't mean I'm not talking to God. I've really watched him work his magic. I'm embarrassed to say how selfish I've been, but I know it's all apart of growing up and some of God's most amazing gifts are the prayers he never answered. Now that I look back, I'm glad he didn't. So thank you.

Jimmy Eats World- Hear You Me

30 Day Challenge

I didn't really get this from one specific person it just seems to be all the craze, and everybody's doing it. I'll just be a conformist...

1) Post 15 facts about yourself.

2) Write about the best friends you’ve had over the years.

3) If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you want to do?

4) Write about a period of time in your life where things seemed to be constantly going good.

5) Write about a period of time in your life where things were not so good.

6) When was the last time you were truly honest with someone? What was it about?

7) Post your favorite quote.

8) How do you feel today?

9) What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

10) What’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?

11) Write about the best day of your life.

12) Write about the worst day of your life.

13) What are your plans for the future? Far and near.

14) Post your favorite book, favorite movie, favorite band, and favorite food.

15) Write about something you worry about a lot.

16) Write about your relationship status.

17) Bullet your day.

18) Post one confession/ secret.

19) Write about your last birthday and how you plan to spend your upcoming birthday.

20) What did you eat today?

21) How has your life changed over the past year?

22) Find a horoscope site and post yours.

23) Post your Tumblr crushes.

24) How was your week been?

25) Write about your first kiss.

26) Write about your best/ favorite kiss.

27) Where is somewhere you would want to visit?

28) If you had three wishes, what would they be?

29) Write about any particular habits/mannerisms that you have.

30) Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years?

Day One:

1. I'm extremely self conscience.
2. I'm WAY too materialistic.
3. I always here what's being said about me, so why bother lying about it?
4. I don't really have a 'best friend.' I take that label pretty seriously and no one seems to fit that category just yet. I can saw I have a ton of truly great friends though!
5. My favorite classes are Art and Yearbook.
6. I have to use 2 Pandora accounts, I'm almost to the point where I need a 3rd. That means I go through almost 80 hours of music a month, ridicccc!
7. I've found myself thinking about the past a lot. I'm 16, this is crazy. I've been looking forward to this my entire life, I miss being little.
8. My favorite person in the world is my little sister, Emma-Claire.
9. Lauren Conrad is my favorite celebrity/inspiration/designer/reality star, hands down.
10. I've fallen in love with the sport of volleyball. I've played with about the same 8 or 9 girls since about 6th grade. Playing with them is the best, we just click, we just work together. Everyone can see it, I trust those girls on the court more than I trust myself. We've gotten older and had to separate and play for different clubs. If I could have one thing back from my past it would be the opportunity to play with those girls again. The last time 'we' truly played together we got 3rd in regionals. ONE game away from a national bid, thinking back I honestly don't know how we did it. We were just that good, honestly. We meshed perfectly. People still talk about how good we were, how good we could be. I miss them.
11. I want to visit a third world country one day and make a difference.
12. One person has changed me so much, we 'dated' for about 14 months, extremelyyyy on and off. He was the reason I had an amazing Summer. But I've done a lot of growing up since Summer and things just aren't the same. Sorry, again.
13. I've debated on graduating early or not. I know I could, but too many people have told me to cherish these next two years. They might be hell, but there's no need to rush time. I've gone to school with the same people for 11 years now, I can't change that.
14. I wish I was a better artist.
15. I wish people would realize that people are capable of change. We only choose to pretend some don't.