"i'm just out to find the better part of me."

"I'm confident, but I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you."

I've come to the conclusion that no one is going to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. If you don't believe in what you're doing, in your goals, in the prize... Then how do you expect someone else to believe it? I've been doing a lot better at putting my focus toward all the right things lately. I'm staying out of drama, and doing what's right for me. Why should that make me feel selfish? It shouldn't, but it does. My personality just doesn't fit that category. I read on another blog about reasons why you shouldn't have just one 'best' friend. .. I completely agree, I've always agreed with that. Getting hurt by a best friend is much worse then getting hurt by some boy. So why would you sit there and tell one 'best' friend every dirty, uncensored secret about yourself? Secrets are stories; over time we gain them and even forget some. If you spend a year telling one person every story then what makes it your story anymore. Some things are better left unsaid. We're all in high school, and we're all changing. We're not changing in the same ways either- we're changing to eventually better ourselves. I have a lot of stories or secrets. If I choose to tell you then there's a reason as to why I'm telling you. I'm such a cry baby and some days all it takes is thinking about a text or thinking about a certain phone call and all of a sudden I'm a different person. We all have masks. We talked about this in art today. I know I have masks; 4 different masks for 4 different classes, the one during softball, the one during volleyball, the masks I put on around my friends, the masks I put on around my boyfriend, the masks I out on for my family, for Sundays, for meeting new people, for Facebook, for this blog. It's all these different masks that make us all unique and different though. So no matter how 'best' your 'best friend' is, unless she or he literally follows your every footstep you won't have the same masks which in effect means you won't have the same personality, or make the same changes in life. I've decided I'm not going to keep posting everyday, and I'm not going to try and preach in every post about something religious. Who am I to be qualified enough to tell you how good you God is? I still need plenty of work and until then I just feel guilty for trying to act like I'm a saint.

I can say this though...

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30).